The BigTerryxo97 Story

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Prologue
I was 5 years old when my dad first punched me. I'll never forget the feeling of pain and betrail. (spelled wrong) That feeling was something I continued to feel for years, but it all changed with Ben.

Chapter 1
I grew up in Yellow County, lived here my whole life. I don't think I'll move. I went to school at the Yellow County School- great place, by the way- and college at the Blue County College. I lived in a fairly large house, 3 rooms, and have a mom and dad. All was well, till I was 5. I pooped on the window, and my dad punched me in the face. He called me a moron. I ran away crying. I didn't speak to anyone that night. The next morning, my dad punched me again. I asked why and he said he liked it. I ran away again. I went to the park and saw these kids throwing some orange object through some kind of hoop device. I asked them what it was, and they kindly responded, "Idiot doesn't know what basketball is! Loser!" I thank those kids for introducing me to basketball. I got a basketball from Santa* at the mall and practiced all day for 2 years. In between ballin' and school, my dad would beat me up. I felt like trash. Dad punched me in the face. I almost died. A few days ago, I heard this song on the radio---"Shampoo." I was inspired by this song.

Chapter 2
All day everyday I was listening to "Shampoo." I saw the writer/singer,Ben, on YouTube* and commented on his video. My dad hated it. He punched me like John Cena, but I took it. I played basketball and listened to "Shampoo." I would no longer let my father bring me down. Then everything changed. I was accepted to the Blue County College on a basketball scholarship. My dad kicked me out of the house. Oh well. One day I got into a gun fight. I was walking around campus singing "Shampoo", then some idiot shot me. I had a gun, so I shot him. He shot back. This went on until the cops came and tazed us both. They took me to the hospital because I was severely injured from bullet wounds. They said I'd never get to play basketball again. But I didn't let the injuries stop me. I asked for a radio, and cranked up "Shampoo" so loud, all the windows in the hospital busted. I was ready to face the world. I stood up and my legs crumpled beneath me.

* YouTube is owned by Google.

Chapter 3
I stayed in the hospital for the next few days. The doctors told me I needed a kidney, liver, and heart transplant for my legs. I agreed. During the operation, I listened to "Shampoo." One of the surgeons died during it. The other placed a piece of basketball in my leg and sewed me back up. He left the room. I sat for hours, "Shampoo" playing. Then all of the sudden the surgeon busted into my room. He told me the place was under attack and we needed to leave. I got up and followed him out into the hallway. He punched me in the face and said he was going to kill me. I punched him in the face, and knocked him out. The mayor came and said I was a hero. He handed me a medal and a check for 20 dollars. With all this money in hand, I vowed to change the world. I went to the army to donate the money, but instead of taking it, they recruited me to replace this guy that fell out the basement window and died. They sent me to Australia to take part in taking it over. I died on the boat heading there, or so I thought.

Chapter 16
I actually fell asleep for 17.38 years. When I woke up, it was the year 6969, and the guy that shot me was the leader. His names was TIMROCKZ69, and he had this stupid theme song playing everywhere and billboards with his name written on them. He kept me in one of those billboards and played his theme on a constant loop. I was beginning to go insane, but one day, the music stopped. The billboard wall blew up and Ben flew in. I couldn't believe it. My hero came to save me. He turned on "Shampoo" and said, "Buckle up." It was so awesome, until he stepped backwards and fell off the billboard and died. I vowed to continue Ben's legacy. I would not be able to that in that time though. I had to time travel, and luckily for me, a time traveling T-rex jumped onto the billboard. He was epic, with 2 pistols and a massive IQ of 4. (3 moar than meself!*) A tank, helicopter and an army were following him. The tank shot its cannon, nearly killing me, and the helicopter blasted us with machine gun fire. He started to shoot them with his pistols. One bullet bounced off one guy's helmet and it hit me in the arm. I shook it off and said, "Let's time travel." He took me forward to the year 1850, where I hooked up with a hot chick and had a son named Table the 42nd. I lived trouble-free for 15 years in that year, until the T-rex returned and told me I needed to go back to the year 1997 to stop my dad from punching me in the face.

* Terry's IQ is in the negatives

Chapter 17
I thought long and hard about this. If I stopped my father, I would have possibly never found out about "Shampoo," never become a basketball star, or have a wife and stupid kid. I decided not to go back, which didn't work because TIMROCKZ69 time traveled to get me. I refused not to go back, then Table shot me and said he was on TIM'Z side. Then, I through a barber shop pole at my wife, knocking her out. "Why'd you do that?" TIM asked. "BEECUZ REEZUNZ!" I yelled. I was going to use my epic soldier skills I learned back in Australia before I died to defeat him. I didn't have a gun, so they were useless. I remembered I had a piece of basketball in my leg. I got it out, and tossed it at TIM. He easily dodged it and restrained me. TIM brought me back to 1997, and stopped me from pooping on the window. Suddenly, I was 5 again, and sitting in my room. I started to cry and think I'd never have that epic future. Good thing I did cry, because my dad came in and punched me. I then forgot about my future, and ran away to the park. I saw these kids throwing an orange object through some kind of hoop device. And the rest is history.

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